Can't We Talk?

Derborah Tannen's condensed version of "Can't We Talk?" categorises the common areas of conflict and how miscommunication between opposite genders arise. These include:

1) Status vs. Support
2) Independence vs. Intimacy
3) Advice vs. Understanding
4) Information vs. Feelings
5) Orders vs. Proposals
6) Conflict vs. Compromise

Whilst reading the article, I cannot help but feel that miscommunication between men and women is an issue that will still remain unresolved despite the many existing literature developed to address the problem. Take for instance, two examples that Deborah cited in her text: the first being a woman questioning the husband if they would like to stop for coffee. The husband blatantly responds no, not knowing that the wife was asking the question to start a negotiation and not get an instant decision. As bystanders, it is easy for us to point out that the woman could have been more direct and explicitly express her desire to stop for coffee. However, if she were to tell her partner 'let's go for coffee', it may again cause conflict because the husband would then perceive the latter as an order and would resist being told what to do.
Although the days of female suppression are long gone, the inherent differences between both genders still remain. Society and history has constructed normative behavior and actions for both genders. For males, they are to be more assertive and competitive, hence it is no wonder then that their basis for communication underlies the need to assert one's status in the community. On the other hand, women tend to favour relationship maintenance, using questions and conversations to strengthen network ties. Since communication is an effortless and unconstrained response to other parties, I believe that albeit the knowledge of gender miscommunication can help minimise future misunderstandings, it is only to a certain extent. Deborah's article, for instance, is useful in helping us comprehend the characteristics of males and females but does not help us deal with unpredicatable and varying situations of communications in everyday life. Since the article is a female's response to gender miscommunication, it will be interesting to explore a male's take on this issue.